To Begin Again – Part I

Every beginning is a new birth

In life, there are moments when, despite all the busyness and problems that surround us, we seek a break. We turn off the TV, don’t pick up the phone even though it’s ringing for a long time, we ignore the pile of work that awaits us, we don’t hear the questions being asked… We look out the window, and as our gaze aimlessly wanders, thoughts get lost in the distance.

Suddenly, we remember a situation, a relationship, a job that we left in the past but still haven’t forgotten, because the memory of them carries a bitter taste of dissatisfaction: “Oh, if only I had had this experience and understanding back then, maybe everything would be different!” Sometimes, after these sudden memories that come crashing down on us like an avalanche, thoughts arise that bring us back to reality, and in that moment of honesty towards ourselves, we realize the greyness of everyday life with particular clarity, everything we try not to think about in the daily rush: a pile of unresolved problems, unclear interpersonal relationships, internal struggles. There are contradictions and weaknesses, various obligations. A feeling arises that we have long been stuck in an incomprehensible marsh and that this marsh is suffocating us too much, not allowing us to breathe… This means that the time has come to finally stop suppressing and holding back the scream of the soul within us: “We need to start everything anew, differently!”

Knowing how to start anew is a great and complex art. We need it not only when we are forced to extricate ourselves from difficult, hopeless situations. In fact, every day is a kind of new beginning. Even when everything is going well for us and it seems like we have finally caught the elusive bird of happiness, our life still unfolds in a constant, strenuous struggle. The reason for this is not only solving these or those material, life problems. We also daily struggle to preserve and strengthen what we have already achieved, to keep the bar at least at a minimal level of all our aspirations, interests, quests, feelings, and relationships.

We struggle to be in line with our own criteria and not to lower ourselves below our own dignity. existence. It creates the impression that with every new beginning in the theater of our lives, a new act begins. The actors are the same, but the scene is different, new faces appear, and the action itself takes place in a completely different, unexpected direction. Every new beginning completely changes our perspective, point of view, and everything is seen differently.”

What was once relevant now seems outdated. What was part of our In the present, we realize that what has disappeared in the past. What seemed unattainable and like a distant future to us, now seems close, accessible in the present. The ancient sages said that starting over on one side means being born again, and on the other, giving birth to something new. Despite the great amount of uncertainty, in every new beginning there is hope: everything is still ahead of us and we have not yet managed to ruin anything.

Getting out of the swamp

Most often, it is life’s difficulties that force us to start over. However, there are moments when it is not only necessary to know how to start over, but also to do it at the right time, otherwise it will be too late and we will not change anything.

Life’s swamp is one of those situations. It reminds us of the famous Augean stables from the twelve labors of Hercules. The swamp is created over a long period of time, months, and sometimes even years, by accumulating unresolved problems, cold or painful relationships, routine work, situations and conditions that stifle the desires of the soul. What “They remain unresolved for longer, they weigh on us stronger, we sink deeper into them and it becomes harder to get out of them.”

“There are many such situations in life. For example, unsatisfying relationships, when people who are complete strangers to each other live together. Their shared life lasts for years, accumulating bitterness, disappointment, sadness, or simply misunderstanding. The divide between them grows deeper, and it doesn’t only affect them, but also everyone around them… But habit takes its toll, the outward appearance is maintained, and everything else has long been left to unfold on its own.”

“Or, for example, inertia, which often becomes a part of our dull everyday life. Months, years go by as we do the same boring job, then we come home and engage in the same boring household chores, watch the same boring television, and so on every day. Sometimes we feel like we’ve had enough, we see that our soul is empty and that we want something else, something new, even though we don’t know exactly what, but we lack the strength to take action because it means…” Turning everything upside down, “why would I bother unnecessarily, in the end it’s already good for me like this…”. This is another situation that ends up in disaster and unsuccessful attempts at self-validation at work or in personal life. Often, one swamp leads to another, even more devastating, and as one sinks further into it, a person rolls downhill faster and faster… When we reach a sick addiction to alcohol, sleeping pills, drugs, constant depression, fears, fixed ideas, we become indifferent because we can’t find a way out of this closed circle. Untangling the Gordian knot of the “swamp” is extremely difficult. The more we analyze, the harder it is to rise up, the deeper we sink into the mud, and the heavier we feel the weight of it all, the terrible burden that makes us even weaker, more inert, and more helpless. In the end, we reconcile and stop thinking about the pain because it’s easier that way. Starting over with small changes in our life, prolonging the struggle in the same mud in which we are already drowning, is practically impossible. Starting over in a “swamp” situation means getting out of it. Heracles’ lesson is useful: realizing that it is pointless to collect manure for years in the usual, slow way, he changed the course of two rivers and streams of clean water took away all the mud from the Augean stables. Getting out of the swamp and starting over always means finding the strength to change the course of our own destiny.

On one hand, a firm decision is needed, it is necessary to cut off at once what has pushed us into a deadlock, what makes not only us, but also the environment unhappy – like Alexander the Great, who, knowing that untying was useless, cut the Gordian knot. On the other hand, specific steps need to be taken, certain actions need to be performed, preparing the ground for a series of actions that will ultimately lead to a radical change in our destiny and the destiny of those we care about. Even if it is a trial and error method, it is important to get something moving. Some time will pass and these efforts will inevitably bring results. Starting over in a marsh situation means creating a new situation, changing it from the outside in order to bring about change from within. In any case, the moment of accepting a solution should not be delayed or postponed indefinitely, and one should not question whether it is good or bad a thousand times – all of this can have negative consequences: if we do not make a decision at that moment, we may lose what we have already started and everything will return to the beginning of the cycle.

Understandably, such decisions should have solid foundations and be well thought out, especially from a moral-ethical point of view. However, the necessary process of reflection should not be confused with another, similar process of thinking when what we call analysis becomes waiting in which we do nothing or wait for favorable conditions, and ultimately turns into excuses that we invent for ourselves, just so that we don’t make that important, decisive shift necessary to start over. Ancient philosophers have said that changing the external situation is a key change in our own life. is needed is for the soul to have the opportunity for rebirth, and destiny the possibility to create new conditions for it. Destiny never provides new opportunities and conditions in a swamp situation because it knows that the swamp will swallow them, as well as ourselves along with them.

There are situations, seemingly completely sorted, when it is necessary to start anew from within, not from the outside. They relate to our inner world, on one hand to all existing fears, complexes, and anxieties, and on the other hand to all our hidden aspirations and potentials of personality.

In each of us, there are internal barriers and shields, defensive reactions, and patterns of behavior. Over the years, these primarily unconscious mechanisms of self-defense reliably protect us from aggressiveness and stressful situations in the external world, from everything that we are unable to face consciously, openly, and directly in life. However, over time, what used to be effective, what protected us and allowed us to retreat into ourselves and hide in our corner, starts to bother us. What It used to be a secure shield, but now it has turned into impenetrable inner walls behind which it is tight and impossible to breathe, which we want and need to remove if we want to start a new life.

For example, a shy or silent person completely gets used to sitting in their corner and not addressing anyone, just so no one bothers them. However, over time, a real problem of loneliness arises, creating cracks in the impenetrable wall of shyness and silence. In this case, a change in external circumstances is not the solution. A new beginning requires an internal effort: the shell breaks when something starts to happen from within, something changes.

There are infinitely many similar situations. Painting scenes that have long been inspiring to him, the artist realizes that what he once considered the pinnacle of his creativity has now become limiting frames that he has grown accustomed to and needs to abandon. No external changes in style will help. To start a new period in his artistry, certain internal barriers need to be broken. To break down barriers and habits, to revive new states of the soul that will be reflected in his paintings.

How comfortably does a person feel who has become accustomed to not having their own opinion, constantly seeking others’ advice and relying on others’ shoulders in problems they could have solved completely on their own. If he carefully observed how his relationships with people whose opinions he holds so dear and whose support he constantly abuses develop, he would discover that their initial sympathy and empathy often turn into growing anger. What used to be the reason for their relationship now becomes an obstacle. In this case, if he wants to start over, he needs to understand that his relationship with other people will only change when he changes himself, when he breaks the protective mechanism within himself and becomes independent in his own eyes and in his own life.