On the ruins of their happiness
Many times we have to start over on the ruins of our own happiness, when everything collapses and we lose what we have built our whole lives on. Many of us have loved strongly, truly, and it seemed forever. But what seemed solid and long-lasting suddenly crumbles, destinies and relationships shatter, love and feelings disappear, and in their place, disappointments remain, sometimes even hatred, malice, and the inability to forgive. In such situations, above all, we need to know how to start over.
Trying to do so, people often make a crucial mistake. They are not truly interested in the future because they are too attached to what has passed and will not come back. They try to artificially prolong what was, trying to piece together the shards of broken happiness and revive what is irretrievably lost on such foundations. They drown in the past, live in memories, and the present loses all meaning for them. But sadly, we cannot bring the dead back. There is no way to return.
When it comes to happiness, one necessary factor is missing: the “other side” that gave life to it all; a beloved person has died or left us or no longer possesses what once connected us. In short, in all similar situations, there is nothing from the past that we can hold onto.
To start over in such situations, it is necessary to find strength and ask oneself a single question, trying to honestly answer it: what has actually died? Has the essence that inspired us died with the person’s death, job loss, or relationship breakup, or has only the form through which it manifested died? Has our love, friendship, or lofty dreams died, or has fate only taken away the form through which we lived, to which we became attached, and which made us happy?
If we truly understand that love for a person has not disappeared with their death or departure, or that a business failure does not erase the dream, then starting over means gathering strength and finding other forms through which we can live and find happiness. But most importantly, what truly was the foundation of happiness, could give birth and manifest again. This means to stop being attached to a form that we cannot restore.
Indeed, true love, dreams, and friendship never die, they are constantly being reborn in different forms. Therefore, if we sincerely answer the question of what truly died, we conclude that what died is the essential, meaning that we no longer love, understand, or strive for dreams. In that case, unfortunately, we need to swallow another bitter pill: it means that true friendship, love, understanding, and dreams never existed. In this situation, starting over means being able to confront the truth and admit to ourselves that we have lived in illusions for a long time, considering desires as reality. It is very difficult to accept this because we have invested a lot in this illusion – ourselves, hopes, plans for the future, money. Sometimes it’s hard to part not only with the illusion itself but also with everything we have built into it. Not everyone can accept that all of it was empty, even though, unfortunately, there is no alternative. To turn a new page and start over, another long-forgotten skill is needed: the ability to lose. It is only through what we lose that we learn to appreciate everything new and true that comes after. Therefore, it is not true that it is so bad to sit on the ruins of our own illusions. If we live in an illusion that sooner or later needs to be destroyed, isn’t it logical to want it to happen as soon as possible so that we don’t waste time in vain, and start over, but this time not on the foundations we invented, but on the real, true reality, the state of the soul and consciousness?
Every day is a new beginning and our whole life is made up of new beginnings. Even when everything is going well for us and there are absolutely no problems, it can be better. No matter how good our relationships with other people, work, or any life situation may be, we can always strive for better, discover new expanses, new beautiful horizons.
If we belong to those who are never satisfied with what has been achieved, then every new beginning is a challenge and a chance for growth and improvement. With each day and every action, even when we repeat the same thing, we always start anew. This is what our daily pursuit of perfection is all about, for something better, deeper, and more beautiful, to breathe new life into every situation, even the most ordinary. We must not allow our relationships, our passions, and all other precious moments to become routine. Routine is the greatest enemy of new beginnings.
Every moment of our lives is unique and unrepeatable, so it should be lived fully and completely. Later, it may be repeated in form, but never in essence, because the opportunities, time, and demands will be different, and we ourselves will be different. In nature and in life, nothing ever repeats itself completely. When a great musician performs the same program at different concerts, they cannot repeat it even if they wanted to, because the essence of their performance is not just about perfecting the technique. Each concert inspires them with something new. , unknown not only to the audience but also to himself. He is searching for the sound of some new, delicate strands of his soul, expressing new, deeper boundaries of his genius. That is the greatness of creative quest in art – knowing how to start anew every time.
Starting anew is not that simple. In this intriguing process, there are moments that should be paid attention to so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes and keep banging our heads against the wall every time.
We mustn’t cling tightly to old stereotypical approaches and ways of thinking. Starting anew is possible only if we reexamine all our previous beliefs. It requires not only a new way of thinking but also a new inner state and a new way of living.
Not looking back. Excessive attachment to everything that has disappeared in the past hinders all new beginnings. The past is useful for extracting experience, but it’s dangerous to dwell in it.
A new beginning is not just a brief moment but an entire creative process that doesn’t end until we reach. Achieving goals requires persistence and effort, a “sacred perseverance.” Starting anew demands courage and bravery. Failures are an integral part of the process and should not be feared. Before achieving the envisioned form, an artist creates hundreds of sketches that may end up in the trash. It is useful to remember that success always comes as a reward for boldness.
One must be willing to take risks as we will face many unknowns. Life is never certain and doesn’t always go as we wish. The only certainty lies in the past, not the future.
We must know why we are starting again and intuitively feel where it can lead us. We should dream deeply and strongly, leaving behind ambition, selfishness, and vanity. Happiness built on the misfortune of others tastes bitter.
We must overcome inner fatigue and inertia, feeling renewed youth, enthusiasm, and zeal.
We should not expect quick results. Victory is not achieved overnight. It requires perseverance, endurance, and determination. It’s not about reaching the top of the stairs, but about conquering each step.
And once again: success doesn’t fall from the sky, it’s a reward for bravery.