There is no doubt about the positive effects of modern technology. The ability to build global networks, maintain long-distance friendships, and communicate quickly with multiple people at once are just some of its advantages. However, research has shown a sad truth; in the last two decades, despite having many friends on social media, our circle of close friends and confidants has drastically decreased, and as a result, people feel lonelier than ever. Almost a quarter of those surveyed have no close friends or confidants at all – an increase of 14% since we all became so digitally connected.
Modern technology has also changed the way we meet romantic partners and our intimate relationships. You may have heard of “situational relationships” – a rather confusing phenomenon of modern dating. These are non-committal “relationships” that are so undefined relationships are defined by the fact that those involved in them do not know whether they are in a relationship or not. It is more than friendship, but not quite a real relationship, which means that there are no clear boundaries, leaving room for unpunished inappropriate behavior. This is a sure recipe for emotional pain, for dizzying shifts between feelings of hope and disappointment, for uncertainty, while we all long for stability and security! Philosopher and sociologist Zygmunt Bauman talks about “liquid love” – a metaphor for the increasingly shorter and superficial encounters that characterize modern love and the fragility of human relationships.
There are numerous studies that indicate the importance of human relationships for our health. Strong social connections increase the chances of longevity by up to 50%, strengthen our immune system, and contribute to physical and mental well-being. Their absence causes more harm to health than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure, and the emotional effects of loneliness can trigger cellular changes that alter gene expression in our bodies.
People with We are deeply social beings. Brené Brown, a professor and author of many popular books, says: “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need for all humans. When those needs are not met, we do not function as we should. We crack. We fall apart. We numb ourselves. We suffer. We hurt others. We get sick.”
The poet and philosopher John O’Donohue wrote: “In this postmodern world, the hunger for belonging has rarely been more intense, more necessary. […] And, although technology seems to unite us, it actually often offers us simulated images that distance us from our lives. The ‘global village’ has no streets or neighbors; it is an impersonal, faceless landscape from which all individuality has been erased.”
No matter how much technology we have in the future, some things will remain fundamental, and one of them is deep connections among human beings. But it seems that digital connectivity has negatively affected our ability to connect. Therefore, don’t wait for others to make the first step. Okay. Open your heart, dare to admit your vulnerability, and treat others the way you would like them to treat you.