“Infatuation is more suited to the stage than to a human’s life. When it comes to the stage, love is always the subject of comedy, and only occasionally tragedy; in life, however, passionate love brings many troubles – sometimes as a seductress, sometimes as a shrew. You will notice that among all the great and noble individuals (whose memory lives on, whether they belonged to ancient or recent history), there is not a single one who has been driven to madness by infatuation: which shows that great spirits and serious matters stay away from this fickle passion. However, you must make an exception for Mark Antony, co-ruler of the Roman Empire, and Appius Claudius, a decemvir and legislator; the former was indeed a lustful and unrestrained man, but the latter strict and wise; therefore it seems (although rarely) that love can reach not only an open but also a well-fortified heart, if the guard is not in its place. Epictetus’ saying is weak: “Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus” (One to another we are a sufficient audience); as if a man, created to contemplate the sky and all the things that are above it, were to be compared to a theatrical performance.” Noble things do not require anything other than kneeling before a petty idol and submitting, not with words (like a beast), but with the eye that is given to it for higher purposes. It is strange to witness the excess of this passion and how it defies nature and values: speaking in constant hyperboles is only fitting in infatuation. This exaggeration is not only in words; for it is well said that the greatest flatterer, to which all small flatterers are connected – is only the human ego; and yet the lover is an even greater flatterer. Because never before has a vain person thought so highly of themselves as an infatuated person thinks of their beloved; and therefore it is well said that it is not possible to love and be wise. This weakness is not only seen by others, it is also felt by the beloved person, stronger than anyone else, except when the love is reciprocated. Because the true rule is that love is always reciprocated either through mutual feelings or through internal and hidden belittlement. One must be even more cautious of this passion that loses everything, even itself! As for other losses, The writer portrayed them very well: the one who gave preference to Helena, renouncing the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For whoever gets too close to the passion of love, renounces abundance and wisdom. This passion overwhelms precisely in times of weakness, such as great prosperity and great adversity, although the latter is rarely noticed: both fuel the passion of love and make it even more intense, which shows that infatuation is the child of madness. The best thing to do is for those who, if they cannot resist infatuation, keep it within limits and completely exclude it from serious matters and life actions; for if it once gets involved in affairs, it puts one’s fortune in question and makes people no longer discern their own goals. I don’t know why, but warriors are prone to infatuation: I think it’s because they are also prone to wine; because suffering usually seeks compensation in pleasure. In human nature, there is a hidden inclination towards love for others that, if not spent on one person or a few, naturally spreads to many. And people become humane and merciful, as sometimes observed among monks. Marital love creates humanity, while friendly love perfects it; immoral love corrupts and degrades it.
